Angry

I feel really angry and I'm not sure why. I think it's partly my current sedentary lifestyle... All I seem to do is look at blogs and stupid art and shit on tumblr and I get tired of looking at nice things and listening to nice music. I feel a strong destructive urge, like I want to be in a mosh pit going deaf, getting bruises. I want art that is ugly and wrong and doesn't make sense. I want something shocking, what is left? I understand people need craftsmanship and aesthetics because it soothes them, how else can value be judged?

I started reading the Second Sex. I suspect this will not make me less angry. I've learned to be suspicious of "value" in art that comes from notions about mastery. I think maybe beauty is bullshit. That sounds cynical. But really, how can someone else (chances are the someone is a man, also known as patriarchy) tell you what beauty is? Hard to say what relation art even has to beauty now.